Mommy+Crying becomes Slam Poetry

My school is having a slam poetry contest, so we've been having workshops. I wanted to perform this one but it needed to be longer. So, I revised.

I run up the open staircase, pass the looming tree

Rush down the hall and into my room

Slam the door behind me, I am just so confused

I slide down the corner of my dresser, the sharpness digging into my back

I close my eyes and breathe in deep

I hear my door crack open

Smell her perfume, hear her breathe in deep too

The scent of lilacs overtakes me

The aroma smells like my Grandma's bathroom

Lilac soap, shampoo, and body wash

I blink rapidly so I can stay strong

I do not want to be reminded of sweet times

I almost begin to cry yet do not

She walks in and I stay, stoney face on the ground

I hold them in as she stands there awkwardly

Waiting for me to say something

but I just sit, looking at my lap

holding the tears in

She says I love you

I say nothing

I can feel myself smirking angrily

Yet it doesn't feel right

I'm not angry... I'm just dying inside

I watch her leave and shut the door

I stop tensing up and let the water flow

streaming down my cheeks

I've gotten good at silencing the whimpers

& holding back the ocean

I don't let my mom see me cry......